Wednesday, May 24, 2006

A Tear For Terra Man

Today, May 24th, 2006, we say goodbye to an American Legend, a man who's origin, modus operandum, and unparrerelled hatred of the Man of Steel is as colorful as it is difficult to explain.

Tobius Manning, born a on a hot Arizona day in 1880, never had any notion of the amazing adventures his sorted life would lead him too... but his father, his real father (not some lazer necklace wearing, gold stealing, mohawked, empathetic space lizard) knew that Tobius would achieve a greatness that he himself never could. At the tender age of 8, Toby was already following in his father's footsteps, but merely moments after his first succesfull stage coach robbery, his life was to be drastically altered. The Collecter, the said Space Lizard, came down to Earth and after a slight altercation with Jess Manning, accidently killed Toby's father, he then proceded to mind wipe the child and vow to raise him as the greatest space cowboy the universe has ever seen. Before they could escapr into outer space, the two were assualted by a time-displaced Superboy and hurled into cosmos, begining a grudge that would span a century.

Years Passed. 100 Earth years actually, but only 20 Lightspace years.

Over this time, Tobius was outfitted with the latest and most advanced technoligical doo-dads that a caring space lizard father could offer, all with a western flavor. These wonderous devices include, space lassos, space pistoleros, space cigars, space mustache and various other space cowboy themed acceceries... not to mention the ability to summon tornadoes somehow, if I'm not mistaken. He even was modified to survive comfortably in the vacuum of space. Oh, he had a winged space horse, too. His adopted father then gives him the name Terra Man, of course meaning Earth -his native planet, and he rapays 'dad' with a slug to the chest and then travels back to his big blue planet, to settle an old score. All happened in Superman #249.

Yep, that's his back story. It gets better tho, his post-Crisis revamp is not so much a cowboy, but an extreme environmentalist/eco-terrorist who targets big business. Get it, Terra Man? Get it? Fan-tastic.

But if any of you out there took my advice from last week and picked up 53.3 you would see that last chapter in the life of this space faring cowboy has finally been writen. Betrayed by dastardly diplomatic Black Adam, Terra Man was torn asunder during a photo junket, bowls laiden on the associated press.

He Died as he lived... a futuristic, environmentalist, space cowboy from the past. Shine On, you crazy diamond.

Even with this tragedy, Secret Six was able to cheer me up with this delightful gem:

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