A post in which you probably had to be there to be funny.

Here's my favorite story from comic con, better than being yelled at by a homeless crack addict, better than having an all night discussion with a soon-to-be doctor studying comic book society, even better than being mistaken for a male prostitute.

Saturday night my friends and I decided to have dinner at the Outdoor mall at San Diego, i think they all got their dinners from some Philly Cheese Steak place, I went to a Seafood flavored restaurant to get a salad. Yes, a salad. Anyway as I was waiting in line a elderly woman came into the restaurant and had the following conversation with the clerk and I.

Clerk: Hello, what can I get for you today?
Woman: I would like the fish and chips please. But no bun this time.
C: Excuse me ma'am?
W: I do not want a bun on the fish and chips. Last time it was in a bun.
C: The fish and chips don't come in a bun, they are independent of one.
W:Alright, just make mine without a bun this time.
C: Ma'am i would have no inclination to put your order of fish and chips within a bun.
W: That's good, because i don't want it in a bun. I want it bunless. Fish and chips shouldn't come inside a bun, isn't that right young man?
Kid Chris: Uh... no, I suppose not.
W: See, no bun.
C: I wasn't going to make it with a bun.
KC: I don't think it comes it bunform.
W: Well it has, i don't want it happening again.
C: I sincerly doubt it will ma'am.
W: You should get the fish and chips, they're very good without a bun.
KC: I ordered the salad with assorted vegetables.
W: Oh.
(minutes later)
C: Here's your fish and chips.
W: Does it have a bun?
There is a pause and the clerk looks me right in the eyes with the woman no more than 4 feet away from me.

C: Never get old.

It made me happy.

SUPERMAN RETURNS: be on the lookout for spoilers

And it wasn't half bad.

Tonight, me and fellow ACAPCWOVCCAOE members Ian Brill, Tom Collins, and Dorian Wright decided to take out a movie at the old Downtown Cineplex. Old Man Sterling was also invited to see the new, highly anticipated Superman Returns movie with us, but claimed he had to see it with his "girlfriend"... yeah, right. So anyway, after two and a half hours of this sequal to the original two films, i do believe that is was well worth the $9.25 charge for admission. A lot better spent than seeing Click.

Good acting for the most part, Spacey didn't ham it up as much as I thought he was going to do, but I do think i liked him more than Hackman. He seems more sinister, Gene Hackman always seemed more liked an ornery grandfather than a power-hungry super villian. I'm sorry, but having Ned goddamn Beatty as your lackey is not tough, not even close.

Kate Bosworth did nothing for me as Lois, but then neither did Margot Kidder, I guess she's just a hard character to cast... though I don't agree with some people's belief that Parker Posey (who played Lex's girlfriend) should have played her either, she had too much of that Billy Idol Rebel Yell sneer the whole time.

Sam Huntington as Jimmy Olsen was probably the best casting of the whole damn thing, his comedic timing was spot on and he perfectly captured the quirkeness of the young photographer/reporter. The scene with Jack Larson as the bartender was just pure fanboy bliss... tho the whole time, peplaying in back of my head was the scene in Timecop when Ron Silver, er, uh, *touches himself* and implodes. Besides, I always loved the episode of the New Adventures of Lois and Clark when Larson plays the old Jimmy Olsen, that show was great, no matter what anyone says.

As for the man in blue himself, I think Brandon Routh did as good as a job as he could of, given the character. The more I watch these super hero flavored movies, the more I relize that the acting of the main character isn't as important as how the other actors react to them. Sorry, that's just how I feel. I mean you could have Peter O'Toole play the Man of Steel, but in all fairness he's still walking around in skintight pajamas, lifting continents, with bullets bouncin' off his eyes. This goes for any movie based on a Superhero or comic book... no one's gonna take a bat cowled, spider costumed, Guy Faux masked, horned demon, flaming skulled, or team of mutants seriously, it's how the 'norms' react that give them credibility. Even how the, at times, ridiculous villians react to the protagonist can make or break the movie. Nicolson vs. Schwarzenneger vs. Neeson, if you get what I'm saying. Alfred Molina made Spiderman 2, Ian McClelan did the same for X-men, and as for how bad Spawn was... Martin Sheen made it worse.

Now like I said before, i did enjoy the movie... I thought parts of it were just plain great. I think the addition of a super powered son, or a superboy if your so inclined, is fantastic, and phooey on those of you who say otherwise. As noted earlier Lex's gang was much better than in the other movies, even Kal Penn, of Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle fame, managed to look like an honest to god badass. Unless of course you count Zod and the others from Superman 2 as a part of his gang, which i don't. Lex's plan once again involved a grab for land, which is alright, he tried the Nuclear Man thing out in Quest for Peace, and Supes stamped that thing right out. Graphics awesome, and plot was as well. I also learned a valuable lesson about 'crystals', I think.

Now, being a nerd, which I am, i did have a few qualms with the movie.

1. Superman fails to deliver one punch, kick, throw, heat vision, or body slam to even one person throughout the entirety of the film. Nor does he spin in a tornado like fasion to dig tunnels anymore.

2. Why can't they just have one scene, even if for a minute or two, where he battles, i don't know Parasite or Mr. Mxyzptlk (go their just for the sound byte)? If your battling the same villain for five whole movies, you are not a good hero. Batman gets the job done in the span of one film, even if they happen to somehow survive, they ain't comin back to fuck with him again.

3. Assuming this picks up after the second movie, which it does cause that's the one where he gets horizontal with Lois, why is he still bitching about being a lonely alien and the last Krytonian? Dumbass you just kicked 3 fellow Kryptonians into a bottomless pit in the fortress of solitude, you just screwed your race's future. Here's to hoping Kandor is in the next one.

4. Never want to hear about Lex pleasuring an old woman ever again.

I'm sure I have more, like why he didn't just fly around the world in a counter clockwork fasion and make it go back five years in time so he wouldn't have missed anything, but it's my bedtime. Night.